Category Archives: Take a Break

4 babies in 40 minutes!

Take a break seem to have hired Real People’s photoshop tech for a week. The ongoing saga of the one twin with cancer reaches epic proportions as the illustrating photo shows. One twin with cancer is seen here icing cakes with her sister. Apparently that’s love. Next week – One twin with cancer ties her shoelaces. Which is also love.


£20 more than £32,000!

Today’s update is courtesy of Seaneen who also writes a blog that’s being adapted for Radio 4. So catch it now before it becomes the next media sensation!

This weeks cover model was an ex-minion of the Joker it seems. Her teeth are far too large for her head. Breaking my self imposed rule of never wondering about the insides, I did ask Seaneen about the “Mum who ate her home” story and she summed it up thusly…

“The woman who ate her house was someone who anxiously ate the threads of her carpet, ate toothbrush heads and purchased carpet samples to chew on. She is, in the realest sense, a rug muncher.”

Not as simple as you think…

Take a Break compared to Real People and Pick Me Up seems on first glance an altogether more classy read. The cover model isn’t ghoulishly photoshopped and the headlines aren’t emboldened with eye-searing yellow. However scratch away the thin veneer of respectibility and you get “Your womb’s got two horns”. What astounded me about this one was that they hold their audience in such contempt, they’re printing breathing lessons. As if their readership weren’t able to work it out for themselves.

However, scratch away more at Take a Break and an altogether far more sinister plot emerges. Take a Break, not content with just printing human interest stories started several campaigns. One is specifically for women who want to take petty revenge on cheating boyfriends.
Their plans don’t just stop there either! Unimpressed with the state of the country they formed an actual political party! With the sole aim of combating anti-social behaviour instead of concentrating on those other meaningless things like taxes, healthcare, education and international relations. There’s a sweet naiveté to it all at least, many mums volunteered to stand for elections without checking to see if there actually was one being held. The volunteers, well intentioned as they are, speak only about how something must be done without thinking about what CAN be done. It’s like a Daily Mail fantasy come true!

The editor John Dale estimates that around 2.5 million of his readership don’t vote. The idea that such a sizable amount of people could be possibly politically manipulated by a magazine that teaches them to breathe is sobering.

Thanks go out again to the amazing verbwhores at CaB for this update!

Mums’ Army blog