Category Archives: Chat

No, Captain Kirk was a hero actually!

First off apologies for the lack of updates the last week or so. That pesky “real life” thing decided to get in my way of my very important task of cataloguing pictures and thinking up some funny blurb to pad it out a bit. Things have quietened down a little now so we can proceed as normal!

The Klingon hero hubby looks like the chocolate man from the Lynx ads if he’d let himself go a bit. Which would make sense seeing as he’s just a walking pile of vegetable fat, emulsifiers and whey.

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Sink of despair!

When you see this, you will shit bricks. This is probably the creepiest cover that’s come about so far and I say that as someone who’s uploaded a few Real People covers. It’s quite nice of them to spare our eyes from the yucky picture in the top right corner but why did they need to answer the question nobody wanted to ask with that razor blade headline?

Another mag, another tale of deadly household objects. Is this the first sign of a possible uprising? It’s a well quoted statistic that most accidents occur in the home, perhaps there’s a far more sinister reason for this. Maybe that’s why you’re always reminded to unplug all appliences when you go to bed.

The obvious winner this time round is of course the man who sleeps with his wifes corpse. It’s ok, she’s got her best nightie on!

Saved by the bath, tossed off the sofa and buggered by the oven!

It’s quite handy that Chat mag points out tiny Charlie Jo. I would’ve sworn she would be the cheeky cheery cover girl! Strangely there’s a refreshing lack of hyperbole in most of these headlines. And yet they’re still rather creepy. The boneless baby sounds like a rather creepy novel though. Perhaps a stream of consciousness account of a road trip in a desert fueled by drink drugs and cheap sex. I’m gonna get me a literary agent and some pills right now!

Another brilliant photoshop job has come through. This time by Lookalike Mark Chapman from CaB. This one is definitely my favourite, I get through so many swans as it is!

It looks like a paddling pool to me actually…

What I like most about this one is the juxtoposition. On one hand you have the cover model cheerily smiling while above her is the head line “VICTIMS MINCED FOR PIG FOOD!”.
Then along the bottom you have the heartwarming tale of 2 sisters finding each other after a lifetime apart right next to a picture of an oozing headwound.

*BONUS*

Picking on the Daily Mail (or… DAILY FAIL! LOLZ) is like shooting fish in a barrel but they can still pull a classic scaremonger – “Why no child is safe from the sinister cult of emo”

To put it mildly, the Daily Mail is to professional journalism like a date rapist is to romance. The quotes seem to be copypasted wholesale from a forum I’m guessing and are dismissed with a sneering “But as any parent will tell you, adolescent children can be highly irrational.” Because Daily Mail reading parents know best after all.

Mugged! By my chair!

Chat magazine, daring to show the reality of dangerous furniture that has been covered up for too long now!

The photo underneath the TODGER TERROR headline brilliantly illustrates the all too real fear of having your penis sliced off by a scythe. But the winner is the big arrow pointing out the BIG pants, just in case you were unsure.