It’s Real People again! In this one, they forego their usual creepy photoshopping because the couple depicted are creepy enough without it. Although nothing can outcreep the “I forced HUBBY TO LOVE ME” headline. In some circles that’s called rape.
This was another one sent in by the lovely Seaneen!
It’s quite handy that Chat mag points out tiny Charlie Jo. I would’ve sworn she would be the cheeky cheery cover girl! Strangely there’s a refreshing lack of hyperbole in most of these headlines. And yet they’re still rather creepy. The boneless baby sounds like a rather creepy novel though. Perhaps a stream of consciousness account of a road trip in a desert fueled by drink drugs and cheap sex. I’m gonna get me a literary agent and some pills right now!
Another brilliant photoshop job has come through. This time by Lookalike Mark Chapman from CaB. This one is definitely my favourite, I get through so many swans as it is!
Here’s another one sent in by a reader, Niki Hunter (not the porn star). She bucks the trend of Deviant art by actually being enormously talented. Her doll pictures creep me out a little though.
The main headline has got me wondering when would be a good time to shop your rapist dad? Answers on a postcard…
Jenny Frost seems to be treading on Kerry Katona’s turf as another Atomic Kitten member with large breasts. I just found out that Atomic Kitten are apparently alive again, not that anyone seems to have noticed. Their comeback single charted at #77 back in January. Bless them.
Otherwise, this is just a giant clusterfudge of horror. The bulimic 7 year old, the 26 year old Grandmother. It’s like Richard Littlejohn (if ever a man was so appropriately named…) has begun to project his minds eye into reality. Even the immigrants are starting to go home now!
And it really must be said that anyone who follows fashion tips from Jordan and Carrie “horse faced” Bradshaw from Sex in the City deserves all they get quite frankly.
Before this blog came to be, I started posting some magazine covers on the forums at cook’d and bomb’d. The reaction I got from there convinced me that there was definitely something in this weird obsession of mine that was worth sharing with the wide world of the internets. Another amazing thing that happened though was that it somehow convinced others to create their own too! Here’s a couple that came about…
This was the first effort by no_offenc from CaB. This one wins simply because it captures that ‘Real People’ style of creepy photoshopping. This picture is why I always double check my PC is turned off before I go to bed.
The eerily human face of Serious Cat lets you know this is indeed serious business. This cover pokes fun at Jim Davidson (the guy in the bottom right corner, famous for his “unenlightened” views), an activity that is never wrong! Nagsworth is the classy verbwhore responsible for this! Long may his face bang!
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MOAR!
The distressingly named Kitten Wrangler has sent me a scan of Take 5 all the way from Australia! This blog has now gone international! How about that?
The cover model must win awards for having the least sincere smile with the most impressively sized teeth! The biggest surprise for me was what they consider to be a “plus size” model too, dangerous thinking that.
The competitions seemed to be pushed quite a lot in this magazine, why in this month there’s AU $100,402 worth of prizes! $100,000 isn’t enough to entice the average Australian woman anymore. $400 more wasn’t enough so they upped the stakes again by $2! Take 5, always giving that little bit extra!
Their star prizes this month are a pair of wedding rings (for him and her, evidently Take 5 doesn’t believe in gay marriage). What could be more romantic than proposing to your eternally beloved with a ring that you won from a AU$2.80 magazine?
Take 5 – a magazine for readers.
This was brought to my attention by the lovely SOTS from the Cook’d and Bomb’d forum (the spiritual birthplace of this blog). She used to have a Tom Baker avatar so clearly she’s a lady of taste.
IPC Media publish Pick Me Up and the Chat range of magazines. On their website they describe Pick Me Up as thus.
“Pick Me Up is the woman’s weekly magazine that sparkles with originality and warmth and sets the pace in the Real Life sector. It always provokes a smile, and takes you to a place where it is fun to be. Upbeat, vibrant and fun, it’s an intense package of the best real life stories and puzzles. The intrigue of real people’s lives is Pick Me Up’s heartbeat. With its big heart and fresh look, it’s the real life magazine you want to be seen with. Altogether, it means a quality real life read that is excellent value for money. Pick Me Up has more real life than any other magazine.”
And to illustrate how full of warmth and fun it is they have this cover right next to the description.
Nothing says warmth, vibrancy and fun like a screaming ‘STABBED IN THE FACE’ headline after all!
Thanks again to SOTS from CaB! Picture taken directly from http://www.pickmeupmagazine.co.uk/